Tomorrow I get to spend all day with a dozen women leaders. It's a day-long retreat to pray and plan for the entire year of 2008. Sometimes that many strong females in one room can be volatile. But, these are women who are committed to whatever God wants to do through the ministry so it should be a blessing.
ProvenWay is committed to helping women leaders reach their full God-given potential as servants of Jesus Christ. The majority of church attenders in North America are women and they do most of the weekly work of the ministry that you see on Sunday morning. But the women are behind the scenes so you get the impression that the men are doing everything. Sadly the typical female serving in the church has little or no access to leadership training. Leadershp Development is typically offered for elders, deacons and the other men in teaching or pastoral leadership roles. ProvenWay provides the training, support and coaching women leaders need as they seek to serve the Lord in their church or in their workplace.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Giving Thanks
I got this quote today in my inbox from the daily Fast Company First Impression: "Showing gratitude is a key interpersonal skill - I see it as a leadership skill." Someone named Ruth Sherrman said that.
I've been noticing lately how weak I am at expressing gratitude. I tend to thank people after the fact instead of in the moment. I also tend to say "thank you" as I'm walking away from people- after my back is turned. I believe, but I may be kidding myself, that I used to be better at expressing gratitude than I am now. I'm not sure why this is slipping these days. It's certainly not because I don't feel grateful, I definitely do. I think it may have something to do with either my own poor attitude about work in general or perhaps I'm just becoming more like the culture that I inhabit.
It's sort of like joining a household that practices certain customs that are strange to you....after a while you become like them. They don't become like you.
I've been noticing that some pretty significant acts of service go unthanked in our office - mostly by supervisors. Support staff and middle managers seem to express gratitude toward one another openly- the senior management does not.
We had an executive team meeting today and no one thanked anyone for more than 2 hours. It was remarkable to discuss so much work without ever giving thanks to anyone.
Recently, someone anonymously left something on my desk called an "office angel." It's a little ornament looking thing with a note attached to it that says "You have been an angel to someone. Pass this on to someone who has been an angel to you." Today I passed it on anonymously to someone else. How much better would it have been to have personally told this person that I have been blessed by their act of kindness or generosity? Why is it anonymous?
I suppose it's better than not acknowledging the act at all......It just seems unnecessarily impersonal. I think that's a key to turning an attitude of gratitude into real encouragement for another person. It must be personal. For instance, I can feel grateful for you as a member of my team and send out a general thanks to all the staff for their hard work, but if it's not expressed directly to you personally, it just doesn't carry the same effect.
I've always known this. I wonder why I've stopped practicing it as much.
I've been noticing lately how weak I am at expressing gratitude. I tend to thank people after the fact instead of in the moment. I also tend to say "thank you" as I'm walking away from people- after my back is turned. I believe, but I may be kidding myself, that I used to be better at expressing gratitude than I am now. I'm not sure why this is slipping these days. It's certainly not because I don't feel grateful, I definitely do. I think it may have something to do with either my own poor attitude about work in general or perhaps I'm just becoming more like the culture that I inhabit.
It's sort of like joining a household that practices certain customs that are strange to you....after a while you become like them. They don't become like you.
I've been noticing that some pretty significant acts of service go unthanked in our office - mostly by supervisors. Support staff and middle managers seem to express gratitude toward one another openly- the senior management does not.
We had an executive team meeting today and no one thanked anyone for more than 2 hours. It was remarkable to discuss so much work without ever giving thanks to anyone.
Recently, someone anonymously left something on my desk called an "office angel." It's a little ornament looking thing with a note attached to it that says "You have been an angel to someone. Pass this on to someone who has been an angel to you." Today I passed it on anonymously to someone else. How much better would it have been to have personally told this person that I have been blessed by their act of kindness or generosity? Why is it anonymous?
I suppose it's better than not acknowledging the act at all......It just seems unnecessarily impersonal. I think that's a key to turning an attitude of gratitude into real encouragement for another person. It must be personal. For instance, I can feel grateful for you as a member of my team and send out a general thanks to all the staff for their hard work, but if it's not expressed directly to you personally, it just doesn't carry the same effect.
I've always known this. I wonder why I've stopped practicing it as much.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Leaders Who Are Real
At our staff meeting just before the Thanksgiving holiday each of us shared what our ideal Thanksgiving would look like. Some shared a memory of a perfect Thanksgiving they enjoyed some years ago. Others fantasized about an imaginary perfect feast on an island in Tahiti or in a cozy cabin in the mountains of Colorado. A few of my co-workers were willing to admit to the brokenness in their families, as well. But I noticed that those highest in leadership on our staff seemed to be the least transparent.
I had to admit that my perfect Thanksgiving would simply be one where my family would all be willing to be together in one room for one afternoon and share a meal. I felt safe enough to share how sad I am about my broken family - but not safe enough to tell this ministry staff how I struggle to love and accept my relatives who refuse to forgive and reconcile. I also don't feel safe to admit the resentment I feel towards those same relatives and how hard I struggle to let go of it.
I don't advocate sharing the gory details of our sin struggles with just anyone, but I do wonder why those in the so-called "highest positions" hide these struggles from those who serve alongside them in ministry. Surely they don't believe that coworkers don't see their junk. Or do they think that the followers would lose respect for them if they admit to battles with their flesh?
I believe the opposite is true. I believe that as we share - in appropriate ways at appropriate times- the reality of our imperfect selves and our battles with our own flesh, we become the authentic leaders that others willingly follow.
Since those who serve with us already know the truth of who we really are, trying to pretend otherwise keeps our followers at arms length relationally. How can trust grow between leaders and followers in such a pseudo-relationship?
What are we risking really by sharing our real selves with those we lead? What do we risk by trying to be who we are not?
I had to admit that my perfect Thanksgiving would simply be one where my family would all be willing to be together in one room for one afternoon and share a meal. I felt safe enough to share how sad I am about my broken family - but not safe enough to tell this ministry staff how I struggle to love and accept my relatives who refuse to forgive and reconcile. I also don't feel safe to admit the resentment I feel towards those same relatives and how hard I struggle to let go of it.
I don't advocate sharing the gory details of our sin struggles with just anyone, but I do wonder why those in the so-called "highest positions" hide these struggles from those who serve alongside them in ministry. Surely they don't believe that coworkers don't see their junk. Or do they think that the followers would lose respect for them if they admit to battles with their flesh?
I believe the opposite is true. I believe that as we share - in appropriate ways at appropriate times- the reality of our imperfect selves and our battles with our own flesh, we become the authentic leaders that others willingly follow.
Since those who serve with us already know the truth of who we really are, trying to pretend otherwise keeps our followers at arms length relationally. How can trust grow between leaders and followers in such a pseudo-relationship?
What are we risking really by sharing our real selves with those we lead? What do we risk by trying to be who we are not?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
