I sometimes get the feeling that people think I'm being closed minded when I lump people into leader vs non-leader categories. I get a little defensive and feel I almost need to explain that I don't mean it in a derogatory way, I simply know that some people are not leaders. Not everyone is and that's perfectly ok. I respect people who are not leaders. Most of my friends are leaders simply because we have the same interests and passions...birds of a feather. But, leaders are not better people than non-leaders. In fact, they have the potential for greater damage than non-leaders.
I get frustrated when non-leaders are in leadership positions because I see the harm (to those who are asked to follow) and missed opportunities (for growth in the organization) that result. But, I am grateful for those who are not leaders who look for ways to support those who lead.
I didn't always see this distinction. I just assumed that people in positions of leadership were leaders and people who were not in those positions were not. Boy was I wrong. Turns out nearly half the people I meet in leadership positions are not leaders.
It's important to know, isn't it? I have made some costly mistakes assuming that someone was a leader when they weren't. I've handed off responsibilities and projects to people who had the title and the credentials that made me think they were leaders, only to find out later they weren't capable of leading at all. They had no vision, they couldn't come up with a plan, and they couldn't rally people around them to help them. Meanwhile, time was lost, that person was embarrassed and discouraged, and the relationship needed time and attention to recover from my faulty assessment of their leadership abilities.
I've learned that I have to actually spend some time around someone before I can tell if they are a leader. Just recently I thought I met someone who I believed was a very strong leader. She said the right things, read the right books, and even described herself as a leader developer. Turns out she is a manipulator and not a leader.
On the other hand I also know a young woman who many said was a bit of a ditzy dreamer. It didn't take long to see that she is a young leader who just never knew she was a leader. Now she is soaring and still dosn't really see herself as a leader.
I've discovered that there are a few clues that you spot early on.

1. Leaders are compelling communicators. When they talk, people listen.
2. Some leaders are outspoken, others are soft spoken, but either way leaders have opinions and a point of view about things. They are not "oh whatever" people.
3. They are often critical, but they are solution oriented. They don't complain just to complain- they complain to force changes that will improve. Leaders are relentless improvers.
4. Leaders make you think. When you walk away from a leader you are usually pondering something they said or showed you. Often about yourself.
5. Leaders have ideas. They are creative thinkers- not always planners - but always thinkers.
6. Leaders love people. If you meet someone who doesn't like people, she is not a leader. Leadership is a influencing people towards change. She cannot influence those she doesn't like. They will know it and they will not follow someone that doesn't like them for long (unless you pay them lots of money!).