A Leader Who Lacks Humility

This comes from a recent post on the Leading Blog. A story that ran in the Wall Street Journal by a univesity management professor Terry Leap says there are some warning signs for spotting a flawed CEO (as if there are some who are not). He says they all boil down to a lack of humility - or inflated ego.

Here are the warning signs presented by Dr. Leap:

• An overt zeal for prestige, power and wealth. A manager's tendency to put his or her own success ahead of the company's.
• A reputation for shameless self-promotion. Trumpeting their successes while quickly distancing themselves from setback.
• A proclivity for developing grandiose strategies with little thought toward their implementation.
• A fondness for rules and numbers that overshadows or ignores a broader vision.
• A reputation for implementing major strategic changes unilaterally or for forcing programs down the throats of reluctant managers.
• An impulsive, flippant decision-making style.
• A penchant for inconsiderate acts.
• A love of monologues coupled with poor listening skills.
• A tendency to display contempt for the ideas of others.
• A history of emphasizing activity, like hours worked or meetings attended, over accomplishment.
• A career marked by numerous misunderstandings. There are two sides to every story, but frequent interpersonal problems shouldn't be overlooked.
• A superb ability to compartmentalize and/or rationalize. Some executives have learned to separate, in their own minds, their bad behavior from their better qualities, so that their misdeeds don't diminish their opinions of themselves.

That's quite a list. Unfortunately, about the only way to spot all of these flaws is to actually go to work for one of these unpleasant characters. And oh the damage they do to the organizations they are charged with leading. What I don't understand is how they get into the positions of authority in the first place. How does someone with all that baggage get promoted to such a role?

Serving Women Leaders

Tomorrow I get to spend all day with a dozen women leaders. It's a day-long retreat to pray and plan for the entire year of 2008. Sometimes that many strong females in one room can be volatile. But, these are women who are committed to whatever God wants to do through the ministry so it should be a blessing.
ProvenWay is committed to helping women leaders reach their full God-given potential as servants of Jesus Christ. The majority of church attenders in North America are women and they do most of the weekly work of the ministry that you see on Sunday morning. But the women are behind the scenes so you get the impression that the men are doing everything. Sadly the typical female serving in the church has little or no access to leadership training. Leadershp Development is typically offered for elders, deacons and the other men in teaching or pastoral leadership roles. ProvenWay provides the training, support and coaching women leaders need as they seek to serve the Lord in their church or in their workplace.

Giving Thanks

I got this quote today in my inbox from the daily Fast Company First Impression: "Showing gratitude is a key interpersonal skill - I see it as a leadership skill." Someone named Ruth Sherrman said that.


I've been noticing lately how weak I am at expressing gratitude. I tend to thank people after the fact instead of in the moment. I also tend to say "thank you" as I'm walking away from people- after my back is turned. I believe, but I may be kidding myself, that I used to be better at expressing gratitude than I am now. I'm not sure why this is slipping these days. It's certainly not because I don't feel grateful, I definitely do. I think it may have something to do with either my own poor attitude about work in general or perhaps I'm just becoming more like the culture that I inhabit.
It's sort of like joining a household that practices certain customs that are strange to you....after a while you become like them. They don't become like you.

I've been noticing that some pretty significant acts of service go unthanked in our office - mostly by supervisors. Support staff and middle managers seem to express gratitude toward one another openly- the senior management does not.
We had an executive team meeting today and no one thanked anyone for more than 2 hours. It was remarkable to discuss so much work without ever giving thanks to anyone.

Recently, someone anonymously left something on my desk called an "office angel." It's a little ornament looking thing with a note attached to it that says "You have been an angel to someone. Pass this on to someone who has been an angel to you." Today I passed it on anonymously to someone else. How much better would it have been to have personally told this person that I have been blessed by their act of kindness or generosity? Why is it anonymous?

I suppose it's better than not acknowledging the act at all......It just seems unnecessarily impersonal. I think that's a key to turning an attitude of gratitude into real encouragement for another person. It must be personal. For instance, I can feel grateful for you as a member of my team and send out a general thanks to all the staff for their hard work, but if it's not expressed directly to you personally, it just doesn't carry the same effect.
I've always known this. I wonder why I've stopped practicing it as much.

Leaders Who Are Real

At our staff meeting just before the Thanksgiving holiday each of us shared what our ideal Thanksgiving would look like. Some shared a memory of a perfect Thanksgiving they enjoyed some years ago. Others fantasized about an imaginary perfect feast on an island in Tahiti or in a cozy cabin in the mountains of Colorado. A few of my co-workers were willing to admit to the brokenness in their families, as well. But I noticed that those highest in leadership on our staff seemed to be the least transparent.
I had to admit that my perfect Thanksgiving would simply be one where my family would all be willing to be together in one room for one afternoon and share a meal. I felt safe enough to share how sad I am about my broken family - but not safe enough to tell this ministry staff how I struggle to love and accept my relatives who refuse to forgive and reconcile. I also don't feel safe to admit the resentment I feel towards those same relatives and how hard I struggle to let go of it.
I don't advocate sharing the gory details of our sin struggles with just anyone, but I do wonder why those in the so-called "highest positions" hide these struggles from those who serve alongside them in ministry. Surely they don't believe that coworkers don't see their junk. Or do they think that the followers would lose respect for them if they admit to battles with their flesh?
I believe the opposite is true. I believe that as we share - in appropriate ways at appropriate times- the reality of our imperfect selves and our battles with our own flesh, we become the authentic leaders that others willingly follow.
Since those who serve with us already know the truth of who we really are, trying to pretend otherwise keeps our followers at arms length relationally. How can trust grow between leaders and followers in such a pseudo-relationship?
What are we risking really by sharing our real selves with those we lead? What do we risk by trying to be who we are not?

What's a miserable employee to do?

So what hope is there for the 77% of employees who say they hate their jobs? What can they do that might make things better?
According to Lencioni: "The first thing they can do is assess whether their manager is interested in and capable of addressing the three things that are required. And they have to realize that most managers really do want to improve, in spite of the fact that they may seem disinterested.

The second thing miserable employees need to do is help their managers understand what it is they need. If they have a strong relationship with their manager, they can come right out and say it; "You know, it would mean a lot to me if you knew more about who I am and what makes me tick.” or, “Can you sit down and help me understand why this work I’m doing makes a difference to someone?”

Finally, employees would do well for themselves if they turned the tables and started doing for their managers what they want for themselves. For instance, employees who take a greater interest in the life of their managers are bound to infect them with the same kind of human interest. Similarly, employees who take the time to tell their managers (in a non suck-up kind of way) about the impact they have on their job satisfaction, will likely inspire them to respond in kind.

However, if an employee comes to the conclusion that his or her manager is indeed completely disinterested in helping them find fulfillment in their work, it may well be time to start looking for a new job.

Unfortunately, I've only known one manager who was willing to make real changes and meet the needs of his staff when he became aware that he was falling short. I'm not sure what happens to people when they become managers. Do they become so insecure that they are afraid to get close to their staff? Do they become so self-focused that they forget that their staff needs connection with them? Are they are just too busy or is it that they really don't care?
I'm not sure, but if the research is right, and I have no reason to think Gallup or Blanchard groups got it wrong, then there is a lot of really bad management out there.
What should companies and organizations be doing to guard against the miserable manager syndrome?

Three Signs of a Miserable Job

A recent Gallup poll found that 77% of people hate their jobs. Gallup also contends that this ailing workforce is costing employers more than $350 billion dollars in lost productivity.
The primary source of job misery and the potential cure for that misery resides in the hands of one individual – the direct manager. There are countless studies confirming this statement, including both Gallup and The Blanchard Companies. Both organizations have found that an employee’s relationship with his/her direct manager is the most important determinant to employee satisfaction (over pay, benefits, perks, work-life balance, etc.).
Even employees who are well paid, do interesting work and have great autonomy, cannot feel fulfilled in a job if their managers are not providing them with what they need on a daily or weekly basis.

What are the Three Signs of a miserable job?
According to PatrickLencioni: The first is anonymity, which is the feeling that employees get when they realize that their manager has little interest in them as human beings, and that they know little about their lives, their aspirations and their interests.
The second sign is irrelevance, which takes root when employees cannot see how their job makes a difference in the lives of others. Every employee needs to know that the work they do impacts someone’s life – a customer, a co-worker, even a supervisor – in one way or another.
The third sign is something I call immeasurement, which is the inability of employees to assess for themselves their contribution or success. Employees who have no means of measuring how well they are doing on a given day or in a given week, must rely on the subjective opinions of others, usually their managers’, to gauge their progress or contribution.

Lencioni's advice for you if you qualify as one who has a "miserable job" coming up in my next post.

My Own Leadership Point of View

What do you believe about leading and motivating people?
I believe that people are almost always more than I (and sometimes they) think. They have a certain set of skills, talents, abilities, gifts and strengths to offer to the organization. I believe that if a leader allows each person to use those skills and operate at least 50% of their time in those strengths, then they will be motivated to work hard toward the achieving the goals of the organization. I believe that we are all self-motivated when we are doing something we enjoy doing. A team member who is struggling with motivation is a team member who is probably not being allowed to use their strengths at least 50% of the time. I also believe that people need to feel connected to a bigger cause, feel included in decision making, feel appreciated for their contributions, and feel they are making a difference somehow.

What kind of leader can your people expect you to be?
I will try to cast a compelling vision of where we need to go and what we could be in the future. I will be as honest and as transparent as I can safely be. Of course they can expect me to work hard and do my best - but they can also expect me to seek their input, listen to their ideas, keep my door open, receive feedback without defensiveness, take an interest in the things that are important to them, and invest time and resources in their development as a leader. I will recognize and reward those who are willing to risk and try new things. I will reward those who develop themselves and others. I will express appreciation whenever I notice someone doing well, and privately address behaviors that need correction. I will work with people (coach them) to help them improve in skills and behaviors. I will be available to those I lead both physically and relationally.


What do you expect of your people?

To keep their commitments, to work hard, to be honest always, and to work and play well with others. I expect them to be team players - collaborate with others, celebrate with others, challenge others on the team. I expect them to tell me the truth whether I like it or not. I expect them to think for themselves and not look to me to solve every problem. I expect them to be open to feedback and pushback and to bring the same to myself and others. I expect them to initiate new ways to do things- to innovate. I also expect them to commit their own time and resources to develop themselves in leadership - this means I expect them to read about leadership, to examine areas that need improving, to seek coaching and feedback and to seek out other leaders to learn from.

How will you set an example for your people?
I will do everything I stated above that I expect of them: I will demonstrate what pushback and feedback looks like, I will initiate and innovate, they will see me reading and working on myself, they will see me with other leaders for the purposes of learning from them.

Another Leader's Point of View

What are your beliefs about leading and motivating people?
"When I spend time with the people I lead I want to lead them to do well, I want to show them how to obtain the end result, help them get there, rely on themselves and know that what they have done is important to getting to where we all need to go and get the end result that we need. I also think they should do their responsibilities to the very best that they can and on time. If they can't accomplish what needs to be done they need to ask for help and to not be afraid of being ridiculed for needing the help. If they can not get what is needed done in a time frame then things need to be looked at and evaluate. They need to know that they have done an excellent job and that they are appreciated. Have fun along the way.
You also have to have your people believe in you and what you are trying to get accomplished."
What kind of leader can your people expect you to be?
"To do my very best, on time and if I cant get it done I ask for help. Its always a team effort to get anything accomplished. To listen to all ideas. It's not just what I want, it takes the the team to get it done. Everyone has great ideas."
What do you expect of your people?
"To do their very best, on time and if they can't get it done ask for help. It's always a team effort to get anything accomplished."
How will you set an example to your people?
"Get my work done. Help them, encourage them. do what is expected of me. Gather a team to accomplish my goal. Learn more in leadership training."
Have you ever thought about these things?
"Yes, I am currently in a position where my leader does not put expectations out there nor does she encourage leadership training. Its very frustrating to have been trained by a excellent leader and then have to be under someone who is not as good."

A Leader's Leadership Point of View

I asked a young woman I know to answer the questions that describe her Leadership Point of View. She is new to formal leadership but is a natural leader.

What are your beliefs about leading and motivating people?
"Establish trust based on mutual agreement that you will all be willing to do what is best for the organization as a whole. Open, safe dialogue. Hold one another accountable to the standards that have been established by the group."
What kind of leader can your people expect you to be?
"One that they can count on...what motivates me is the looks on the faces of the group and I know that they are counting on me. It is then that I am able to do things that are outside of my leader comfort zone. One that they can approach...one that will be honest...one that will make mistakes."
What do you expect of your people?
"Commitment. Quality. Self-sacrifice. Keep it real."
How will you set an example to your people?
"By sticking to the vision of the team, listening along the way for grumbles and little things that need addressed or celebrated. I will openly discuss even the hint of an issue that I feel could multiply. I will stay on task. I will not gossip about anyone on the team. I will hold others accountable and expect to be held accountable. I will keep it real."

A Leadership Point of View

I love to talk leadership with strong, veteran leaders. Men and women who've been at it a while and have thought about the dynamics and particulars of this thing we call "leadership."
After a period of time and a variety of experiences, leaders develop their own philosophy - or point of view - of leadership. It's made up of what they believe about leading people, why they believe it and how it informs their decisions for the organization. Ultimately a leader's point of view about leadership will infect the culture of the entire organization.
I've posted an article by Ken Blanchard that describes the importance of having a Leadership Point of View and the elements that make up a L.P.O.V. His guide suggests answering seven questions that will help you as you develop your own L.P.O.V.

The last four of Blanchard's questions hone in on the key issues:

1. What are your beliefs about leading and motivating people?
   
2. What kind of leader can your people expect you to be?
   
3. What do you expect of your people?
   
4. How will you set an example to your people?

Whenever I get the chance to interact with leaders, these are the four questions I tend to ask most often. I will record some of those responses and my own in future posts.

Seeking a Trusted Servant

My daughter graduated from Baylor Law School this summer. We're definitely very proud of her. She's already at work doing what she has worked years to be able to do.
The graduation ceremonies were impressive and, suprisingly, not at all stuffy.
All of our encounters with BaylorLaw School have been impressive. Included in each event or communication we've had with any of the faculty is the very clear message that the law school's commitment is to develop lawyers who are servants. Afterall, people come to lawyers when there is a problem - sometimes a crisis or tragedy - but always a serious matter that requires an expert. The circumstances are almost always unwelcome and the client is often confused or afraid and feels particularly vulnerable. It's so important that the lawyer be someone of competence and absolute integrity as the client is in no position to handle their situation alone.
I don't think I've ever thought of a lawyer quite that way before. My daughter says that the law students hear this message repeated in each class over the three years in law school - in virtually every class by every professor.
It occured to me that the same could be said of pastors. People rarely drop in to see a pastor for no reason at all - especially if they aren't in the habit of attending church. Folks seek out the counsel of a pastor - or visit a church for the first time - when they are at a crossroads of sorts. Perhaps the loss of a relationship or job... perhaps a devastating diagnosis....the non-attender (even if they are a believer) is prompted to seek spiritual answers when there is fear, confusion, or pain of some kind in their life.
I wonder if our seminaries are as diligent about drumming the same kind of message into the minds of the thousands of young would-be pastors attending classes this year.
I wonder if the average pastor in the pulpit is alert to the reality that each week as he stands to preach from God's Word, the person sitting in his church who he has never seen before is only there because something in his life isn't working or making sense on this day. The stranger isn't there because things are just swell and he had nothing better to do on Sunday morning. That stranger is in his audience because he needs to hear a message that contains answers.... hope....and assurance that something is true and that Someone cares.

Why Ministry Teams? Part 2

It turns out there is a lot more than just one more reason that ministry should be done through teams. I realized after thinking it through that there are so many reasons for team they would probably fill a book. (Now there's an idea!)
But here are a few of the reasons why the most successful businesses - not to mention ministries - have adopted "team" as the model for reaching their goals.

1. The need to respond to quickly changing market forces means that organizational structures must be designed to get the best ideas on the table and in development fast. This means more collaboration to uncover those ideas and more "we decisions" to move forward on action steps.
2. Complex projects and issues demand more than the expertise of one person - the complexities of today's world requires a wide-range of talents and experience.
3. Employees and volunteers (particulary of the next-gen culture) expect to participate in decisions that effect the projects that they are directly or indirectly involved in.

Basically it comes down to what may be my favorite Ken Blanchard quote:
"None of us is as smart as all of us."

If an organization - ministry or business - commits to Team everything changes.
The org chart gets flatter, relationships get tighter, the workplace gets noisier, power is shared, information is shared and exchanged openly, and a culture of mutual accountability takes hold.
Team is hard work.
Most ministries fall back to the "group work" model instead because Team is so hard and it is usally very messy. There is more conflict and true team allows little room for selfishness. But for those who are willing to do the hard work, give up control, trust others, invite feedback and relentlessly commit to collaborate always- the payoff is well worth it.
The results: better decisions lead to increased effectiveness which means increased impact for the Kingdom...(or increased market share for those who are in it for financial gains).
The question becomes- why would you do ministry or business in any other model?
Why not Team?

Why Ministry Teams?

It's hard to believe but there are still folks out there that don't believe in teams as an effective strategy for achieving mission.
On second thought, it wasn't that many years ago that I was a lone ranger myself. The thought of having to depend on and be accountable to a group of people I didn't know very well sounded tiring and (if I am honest) a bit threatening. It's so much simpler and quicker to just get the job done myself without having to get input from others. And what if they think my ideas are dumb, what then? Who would decide which ideas prevail? Yep, it seemed to make much more sense to work alone, crank out the tasks, and take all the credit (or blame) myself. This method also left room for me to play the martyr - you know, so exhausted from doing it all by myself.
I'm grateful to God for breaking me of this sin. (Yes, I actually believe it can be sin to resist serving in team.) It took about 3 years for me to fully realize and appreciate the joy and effectiveness of Team. Now, there is no going back!
For those of you who are still resisting, here is why I think you need to reconsider:

Team is a Biblical model for ministry: There are countless examples in Scriptures but I will just name a few. Remember Jethro's advice in Exodus 18 to Moses, "You and these people will wear yourselves out! You cannot handle it alone." Moses thought he had to do it all himself - or at least he thought he could. New Testament examples are even more abundant. Jesus sent the disciples out in no fewer than two at a time - every time - and Paul didn't travel alone. The Scriptures always describe a companion traveling and ministering with him.

The reasons for this are found in scripture and in common sense. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says "two are better than one because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down his friend can help him up. But, pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up." For safety, comraderie, accountability, and encouragement, ministry should not be attempted alone. Even Jesus, although He needed no one, chose to spend his three year ministry in team with 12 others. God created us to live, play and serve in community.

Team serves to keep us Christ-like and humble as we have to continually - almost daily - admit that others often have better ideas than we do. It constantly challenges us to be interdependent - relying on others and being found reliable over and over again. Interdependence serves as an antidote to pride as team members must admit that they need others to accomplish the mission with excellence.

The second reason I believe in Team next time.

Swing Thoughts

A friend asked me a great question recently. She is struggling in her leadership these days and although I would like to help, I wasn't sure how I could.

So she asked me this question: "What is your “swing thought” when you walk through the doors every morning for work? In golf they tell you not to carry more than three thoughts with you to the tee."

I've never played golf but I love this question. According to the internet, swing thoughts are those short catch-phrases someone plants into your mind with the idea that you're supposed to remember it and still make contact with the ball. "Keep your head down." "Straighten out the elbow." "Don't open up the hips too early."

Apparently there are also positive swing thoughts that will keep you motivated and optimistic throughout your round of golf, making for better scores (and lower blood pressure I assume). There is even a company that manufactures tees with tiny positive 'swing thoughts' printed on them.

I thought it was going to be a hard question to answer, but quickly realized that I do carry about 3 thoughts with me as my day begins. And I decided that there is something to this idea that just as too many thoughts in our head can skew a golf swing - too many thoughts and/or agendas can skew our ministry and drain us of the joy of serving.
I believe much of what makes us effective and joyful in our ministry is what kind of swing thoughts we carry with us as we approach our service each day.

Here is what I wrote to her:

It starts before I approach the tee with my attitude (what I believe) about that ball and whether my whole identity is wrapped up in that ball and the “shot” that I will make today. So, I give myself permission to fail, but not the permission to only give 50% of my best effort to the shot.

As I walk in the doors (approach the tee) I am thinking:

• "What is on my task list today?"
• "How realistic is it that I will get all that done? (I give myself permission to not complete it)"
• “How interruptible can I be today to serve people around me and still accomplish what’s essential on my list?”

This third thought is huge for me because I completely believe that what He has for me to do today may have nothing to do with what's on my job description or my to-do list. God may have completely other purposes for me in this day and in this ministry.

What's your swing thought each day?

Willowcreek Leadership Summit

It's been years since I've attended a satellite broadcast of the Willowcreek Leadership Summit. What a treat! Bill Hybels has been a tremendous influence in my life -- probably in the top 25 influencers in my life.

This year's Summit was really good. I wouldn't call it outstanding. But definitely very good.

Marcus Buckingham's talk is standing out most in my mind two weeks later. If you go to the site you can see his slides and also download 6 podcasts that cover the topic of his talk and his new book, "Go Put Your Strengths to Work"

Buckingham always seems to make me think new thoughts. Some of the things he says you know are true but you've never thought of them. Like: "You will grow most in your areas of greatest strength (rather than in your weaknesses)." That seems counterintuitive and yet you know somewhere deep inside you that it is true!

Other things he says you hope are true. Like "A great team member volunteers his strengths to the team most of the time." Gosh we want this to be true. But we're so afraid of being called proud or selfish that we hold back our strengths and instead spend most of our time in our weakest areas. Afterall, don't "team players" do whatever is necessary to help the team? Buckingham says yes and no. He says that while we certainly do, at times, need to work in areas where we are thin, we don't really help our team to our fullest potential unless we can work in our strengths at least half of the time.

The challenge Buckingham put to me was to figure out how to bit-by-bit put more of my strengths to work this week than last. He has a strategy for this. I haven't gotten to that podcast yet.

Learn and Know these things to Follow Well

Beyond the "be-attitudes" of followership there are also a few things that are extremely helpful to learn and know about your leader in order to influence him or her.

• Know yourself! Every good leader knows himself best of all. Find out your own strengths and weaknesses, relational style, gifts and passions. If you don't know yourself well it means you have blind spots that will eventually derail your ministry. Take tests and assessments but also, ask people close to you (truthful friends in your small group, ministry team members, spouse, children) if they agree with the assessments. Sometimes we lie to ourselves even on the tests!



• Know his/her personality & relational style. Knowing and understanding your leaders relational style will help you accept her as she is and will also greatly improve your communications with her.



• Know his/her strengths & weaknesses. Understanding your leader's weaknesses helps you to know how to help her! You will be able to fill in some of the gaps and make the team stronger.



• Know his/her priorities. It's difficult to know how to be a resource if you don't know what your leader's top goals and priorities are. You can become a better value-adder if you know the goals he's aiming for.



• Know his/her prayer needs. Praying for your leader is the most powerful thing you can do for her. Knowing what she needs from God will help you accept her as she is and pray for her with a positive attitude. Not "God change her" but "Lord change me and show me how to serve her well."

Good leaders follow - Good followers lead.

--Eugene Habecker

Leading Up - The Powerful Influence of Followership

If you have ever watched Dancing With the Stars or So You Think You Can Dance? you know that when two people are matched together to learn a dance there is one thing that must be established first before anything else can happen: They must decide and agree on who is going to lead. That's because the things that a leader does, the steps and movements he makes, are different than the steps and movements that his partner- his follower- makes.
And if you have ever watched a couple attempt to dance when they are both trying to lead, you know what a mess it turns out to be. Awkward at best, tripping over each other at worst, it's a real disaster whether they are both trying to lead or both trying to follow.
There are distinct differences in these two roles in dancing- and there are distinct differences in these two roles in ministry or business.
Most of us are in a position that we must report to someone. We need to remember that we have the power to influence those who lead us just as much as we have the power to influence those we lead. But the skills and behaviors you use when leading others are different than the "steps and moves" you make when you're following.
Following is more than passive assent. Following is not passive. It's active. It involves active behaviors and attitudes that dove tail with the behaviors and moves of the leader to make for a smooth, and often, fun dance.
To be an actively engaged follower remember these 5 "be-attitudes" of followership.

1. Be a Resource. Be a person who offers solutions to problems your leader or the team are trying to solve. In Exodus 18 we have a great example of Jethro offering Moses advice on how to manage all those hundreds of thousands of Israelites. Jethro was a resource to Moses by giving him a practical administrative solution called delegation. Think about how you can be a resource to your leader. Is there a book, an article, a website, a contact, a seminar, an event that you know of that would help your leader solve a problem or reach a goal?
2. Be a Team Player. Be a dependable go-to person who brings the team together, helps to heal divisions, brings energy and ideas to the team and collaborates easily. In Romans 16 we have a list of people who Paul said were dependable servants who worked hard for Christ and even risked their lives for the sake of the gospel. Be a team player that your leader can count on to unite the team through tough times.
3. Be a Friend. Leadership is lonely. Leaders need trusted friends who they can be real with and are safe to talk to. The best Biblical example I can think of is Jonathan in I Samuel. Jonathan loved David, not because he would be king, but just because he was David. Take the initiative to build a relationship with your leader and be a friend who will keep her confidence and encourage her when she's tired.
4. Be a Truth Teller. Warren Bennis says that the most important quality of a good follower is the will and the courage to tell the truth to the leader whether or not he wants to hear it. Nathan the prophet comes to mind when in 2 Samuel 12 he confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba. Actively engaged followers say what needs to be said even when it risks their own well being. This may be the hardest thing to do. I can't help but also think of Esther who had to muster the courage and the faith to speak to her husband the King about his right-hand-man Haman who was not who the King thought he was. Have the courage to say the hard things. There is no better way to serve your leader.
5. Be an initiator. Be a follower who doesn't have to wait to be told what to do. Come to the table with ideas, plans and solutions of your own. In I Samuel 17 young boy David didn't have to be recruited to take on Goliath. In fact, no one would've even thought of him. But he stepped up to take on the Philistine and swiftly took him down with his slingshot. Take territory for your leader and help lighten her load.

If we can become better followers- actively engaged followers - our leaders will look forward to hearing what we have to say and over time, begin to look to us for input, advice and feedback.

In a few days, what you should learn and know to be a more effective and influential follower.

More on Followership

The ProvenWay Leader's retreat was the best women's event I've ever attended or been a part of. By far. What a blast to spend 2 days with women who really think about leading well, hungry to learn how to lead well, and who work hard to lead well. God showed up and showed out! And He blessed my soul in so may ways....
By complete suprise Christian recording artist Kim Hill crashed the conference and offered to give us a concert and lead worship! Amazing blessing. Turns out she is best friends with our key speaker Lisa Harper and so she tagged along for the ride. They made for a divine dynamic duo!
I had a ball teaching one of the breakout sessions - The Powerful Influence of Followership. I truly do feel God's power and presence when I'm teaching leadership like no other time. There is nothing I do that is as effortless, energizing and fulfilling as teaching leadership. No nerves, no lack of confidence....just uncork and go. It all pours out from the overflow....it's as if all the stuff that God has been teaching me is pent up inside of me accumulating, germinating, growing and maturating. Just waiting for an outlet while it grows bigger and bigger inside. In some (strange kind of) ways it's a relief to be able to pass it on to someone who can use it to minister.
Several women went out of their way to tell me that what they heard and learned was very helpful....that does it for me. If even one woman says she was helped then my day is made.
But I can honestly say that even if no one had said a word I knew that I had done the very best I could to share what the Lord has taught me. And I felt that sweet, private affirmation that only the Lord can give.
I got to hear lots of stories about ministry in all kinds of churches...met at least a dozen fascinating women. I got to diagnose, brainstorm and problem solve at round table discussions. How fun was that!
God gave me a special treat when a woman named Mary approached me and said she felt prompted to pray with and for me. What a precious time we had together - what a precious gift to have someone sit with me and pray over me specifically.
It's been way too long.

If you are reading this and you were at the retreat - I hope you will add your comments to this thread and share your experiences, impressions, thoughts and learnings from the retreat.
In the next few days I will post my notes from my Followership workshop.

Followership

I'll be leading a workshop next week on Leading Up! The Powerful Influence of Followership. Many years ago I was on staff at a church- actually this was before I was on staff and was a lay leader in the church – and was seeing God do a lot of things through me in the church much to my astonishment. One of the pastors on staff made the comment that I do remarkably well leading up – he said “you’re not just a leader of followers but you lead up very well.”
I’d never heard that term before - but it really stuck in my mind. I didn’t ask him for much clarification but just really spent some time thinking about it. I knew that leadership was influence and so as I began to sort of observe what God was doing through me and the gifts He’s given me as I led up the people above me- of course EVERYone was above me since I wasn’t on staff -- but I just began to see that I did seem to have a voice at the table in many decisions.
I also noticed how people were coming to me to get their ideas heard by those above us, on staff and all the way to the Senior Pastor.
So I knew there was something to this. And then in about 1995 I heard someone name Pat MacMillan give a talk on followership - the first time I’d heard it termed quite that way and it tremendously impacted me and changed the way I thought about followership as a real thing that we can intentionally engage in.
What I know now is that good leaders follow- and good followers lead!

New Leaders

I love to sit next to someone who is just studying leadership for the first time. It's like taking a friend to one of your favorite travel destinations that they have never been to. You sort of take everything in with fresh eyes and ears as you watch their reactions to the new information and surroundings.
Today I invited a co-worker to come with me to hear a talk on leadership. She is not a young person yet she has never given much thought to the topic of leadership. These days she's motivated to learn more. The demands of her job are making her realize her need to grow into a better leader. She wants to learn and she takes lots of notes , asks many questions, and is trying really hard to take it all in.
As I sat there and watched her reactions during the teaching I kept wanting to say "Wait till you see/hear/learn this!" and "Did you catch that?"
I love watching the face and hearing the thoughts and questions of someone as they just begin to get a glimmer of "getting it."

Are leaders born or made?

I had the opportunity to hear a gentleman speak on the 12 essential behaviors of good leaders. He was with an organization called Leader's Summit. There were some good things, but also some things I didn't really agree with. He had these essentials divided into 6 "hard skills" that he said are "what a leader does" and 6 "soft skills" which are "who a leader is." So far, so good. Except that several of the soft skills were redundancies which seemed to be splitting hairs and making it more confusing than it needed to be.
But it was still quite interesting. He gave us a chance to interact, call out our answers, and ask questions which I always enjoy. (But I always get a little worried when someone wants the fact that he reads 50 books a year to be included in his introduction.)
One question he asked us to discuss is "Are leaders made or born?" The two women in my huddle said "made" but I say leaders are both born and made. When he finally gave his answer it was most unsatisfactory. Not definite or helpful at all. (I wonder why he asked if he didn't really have a strong point of view on the topic.)
When it comes to leaders, I am convinced that genetics plays a role as certain personality mixes seem more pre-disposed for leadership. More leaders are either Dominant or Inspiring relational types. I'm also convinced that birth order plays a role as well as upbringing - more leaders grow up in homes where either the mom or dad (or both) was a strong leader. Naturally, early opportunties to lead increases the liklihood and then, of course, spiritual gifting trumps them all.
Our teacher today also emphasized that anyone can become a really, really good leader. That all the 12 behaviors/skills could be learned by anyone. I wonder if he was simply trying to sell his training seminars....whatever. I couldn't disagree more.
For years I used to believe that anyone could become a good leader, but no more. I believe that anyone can become a better leader than they are. But I do not believe everyone can become a really good leader.
First of all, character is the bedrock essential for good leadership. Alan Simpson said "If you have integrity nothing else matters, if you do not have integrity nothing else matters." A person can move others to action through the leverage of her position, or through fear or manipulation, or by paying big sums of money- but people only willingly follow someone who has proven that she will do what she says she will do and who is who she says she is.
I do not believe we can train someone to have integrity - not past the age of 30 anyway. Only God can change a person's character once deception has become a behavioral pattern.
Secondly, I have worked hard to develop people who I believed were leaders only to discover over time that they really lacked the inner drive to improve and change things that all leaders have. I don't believe anyone can teach that internal strong bias toward action that is the driving engine in every leader.

Feeding Hungry Women

I've been preparing for next week's leadership workshop at the ProvenWay Retreat. Looks like there will be close to 100 women there to be encouaraged and equipped to lead. The women who will come are mostly from north Texas, but there will be some from Louisiana and central Texas as well. Almost all of them are serving in a women's ministry in a church.
It's such a blessing to get to serve women who have been gifted and/or called to serve in a leadership role in ministry. There is precious little available to equip women leaders and sadly the churches do little to nothing to help us. One could get the idea that they don't really want women to grow in their leadership, but I prefer to believe that just as with so many other wise and valuable activities, the church simply mis-applies their resources. In other words, I prefer to assume ignorance over malice.
One of the major frustrations for me while I served on staff was the lack of development for women in the church. I prayed and begged for a mentor for over two years - so hungry I was for someone to help me develop the gift He's given me. My pastors said they were at a loss to find someone who they felt could really challenge me. I wonder.
I made some calls to several churches, the denominational headquarters and even the seminary - no one seemed to know where to point me. My journal reflects the lonliness I felt as a woman trying to find other women who could 'get me' and teach me. I also begged God to explain to me why He would give me such a gift and not provide a mentor to help me develop it in a healthy way.
Little did I know that down the road I would have the opportunity to help other women avoid that same frustration. It's no wonder I'm so excited about next week's retreat. I thank God for the way He let me experience that pain and frustration as preparation for relieving it for others.
What a mighty God we serve.

Influence

Influence is a fascinating thing to me. Sort of like wind. You can't really see it but you can see the effects it has on things in its path.
Irrespective of gender, race, title, position or class, influence often belongs to people who don't seek it, don't need it, and don't even know they have it. If we have influence, it's because others give it to us. One can't make up one's mind to have influence. You cannot decide to be an influencer. One day you just realize that people seem to make up or change their mind after hearing from you.
Someone in the middle of the organization or group can have a tremendous amount of influence. I really like that. And I like that wherever people are in a group, eventually, one or more people will become the influencers. They may be influencers for good or influencers for evil - but the dynamic of leadership happens. Every time.

Conflict

Tomorrow I travel to train a women's ministry team in conflict resolution. I've never trained on the topic before but now I'm an expert.This is a fairly new team - they've been together only a year - and most of them are new to ministry. My guess is that they, like so many who are new to ministry, may be under the impression that serving the church is like working in a spiritual wonderland. You know, where everyone agrees because, after all, we all want what Jesus wants and we want it the same way at the same time. If only it were like that for even one day. That would be amazing.
Reality is, even if every one of us is saved, we are only a little bit sanctified and we still really like to get our way and for everyone else to agree and think our ideas are terrific. It rarely happens.
I'll begin by setting the record straight; conflict happens. Even in the most holy of human situations. One definition of conflict is "two people living in the same county." So it's okay for women that love Jesus to disagree. It doesn't give them license to be disagreeable- but it's absolutely okay if your team experiences conflict. In fact, some conflict is actually a very good thing. A very good thing.
Without conflict, bad ideas go unchallenged and mediocre ideas go without improvement. Without conflict we have groupthink which can lead to all kinds of uneffective ministry. They blame the space shuttle disasters on groupthink.
So this weekend this ministry team will learn to embrace conflict, manage conflict and resolve conflict.
I pray that God will make it better than the vehicle delivering it.

I sometimes get the feeling that people think I'm being closed minded when I lump people into leader vs non-leader categories. I get a little defensive and feel I almost need to explain that I don't mean it in a derogatory way, I simply know that some people are not leaders. Not everyone is and that's perfectly ok. I respect people who are not leaders. Most of my friends are leaders simply because we have the same interests and passions...birds of a feather. But, leaders are not better people than non-leaders. In fact, they have the potential for greater damage than non-leaders.
I get frustrated when non-leaders are in leadership positions because I see the harm (to those who are asked to follow) and missed opportunities (for growth in the organization) that result. But, I am grateful for those who are not leaders who look for ways to support those who lead.
I didn't always see this distinction. I just assumed that people in positions of leadership were leaders and people who were not in those positions were not. Boy was I wrong. Turns out nearly half the people I meet in leadership positions are not leaders.
It's important to know, isn't it? I have made some costly mistakes assuming that someone was a leader when they weren't. I've handed off responsibilities and projects to people who had the title and the credentials that made me think they were leaders, only to find out later they weren't capable of leading at all. They had no vision, they couldn't come up with a plan, and they couldn't rally people around them to help them. Meanwhile, time was lost, that person was embarrassed and discouraged, and the relationship needed time and attention to recover from my faulty assessment of their leadership abilities.
I've learned that I have to actually spend some time around someone before I can tell if they are a leader. Just recently I thought I met someone who I believed was a very strong leader. She said the right things, read the right books, and even described herself as a leader developer. Turns out she is a manipulator and not a leader.
On the other hand I also know a young woman who many said was a bit of a ditzy dreamer. It didn't take long to see that she is a young leader who just never knew she was a leader. Now she is soaring and still dosn't really see herself as a leader.
I've discovered that there are a few clues that you spot early on.

1. Leaders are compelling communicators. When they talk, people listen.
2. Some leaders are outspoken, others are soft spoken, but either way leaders have opinions and a point of view about things. They are not "oh whatever" people.
3. They are often critical, but they are solution oriented. They don't complain just to complain- they complain to force changes that will improve. Leaders are relentless improvers.
4. Leaders make you think. When you walk away from a leader you are usually pondering something they said or showed you. Often about yourself.
5. Leaders have ideas. They are creative thinkers- not always planners - but always thinkers.
6. Leaders love people. If you meet someone who doesn't like people, she is not a leader. Leadership is a influencing people towards change. She cannot influence those she doesn't like. They will know it and they will not follow someone that doesn't like them for long (unless you pay them lots of money!).

I had a conversation last night with that same co-worker about the difference between what often passes for "leadership" and what is in reality "manipulation". We once had a person on staff who professed to be a super-duper leader. Something of an expert.
We didn't see that. What we saw was some heavy handed attempts at persuasion; sometimes direct and overt, other times through back channels and doors that put people in uncomfortable positions or drew them into the scheme.
I think it was Maxwell who said manipulation is "I win and you lose"- leadership is "You win, I win and most importantly, the organization wins." That's true, but servant leadership is really even more. It focuses on helping the person win, completely believing that if that person wins, the organization will win because that person is winning.
For example, my ministry assistant has the opportunity to move up to a new position. I will miss her terribly if she decides to take it. I honestly dread the thought of looking for her replacement and then training her replacement. But, none of this is about me. Someone realized that she is over qualified for her position and made her an offer that would help her win and help the organization. As good as she is at her current job, if she is not growing personally/professionally she will very soon become bored and either leave or hold the organization back if she stays. Stagnant people hold the organization back from achieving it's mission.
With that in mind it's easy to see that the manager's job is to keep his employee stretching and growing whatever their position so that the organization will move forward - but the focus is on the person and not on the organizational goals.
If we focus on developing /serving the person the goals will be achieved.
Servant leadership.

I had a pretty good week even though it was a rollercoaster ride.
The highlight for me was getting to work on a project with a co-worker that I don't usually work alongside. The one time we have worked together there was some serious friction. This time, things were different and I've been assessing why it was different.
She joined the staff only 8 months ago and her role has shifted a few times keeping her and the rest of us a little off-balance. The last project she and I worked on I was under the impression that she was my superior. I kept trying to follow her but she wouldn't lead. She got really frustrated with me and I with her. I couldn't seem to figure out how to solve our conflict even though I tried several times. She ended up talking behind my back a bit but I just let it go.
I couldn't figure out why things went so badly.
Now, looking back, I realize that she is not a leader and I kept treating her like she is. She has no clue how to lead and she desperately needed direction. Every time I tried to assert some, even a little bit, she would argue and become irritated. I would back down because....well, I believed she was my superior.
This time I treated her as I would a teammate and things went great. I was firm with her about making our meetings and doing her part. She responded well and we worked great together. As soon as she got focused in we started clicking. Now she will get to present the project to the President and she is open to me coaching her on her presentation. She has mentioned more than once that this has been the best partnership she has experienced since joining our staff. She is amazed out how differently we worked together this time around.
It's incredible what establishing clear roles does to make a team work well together. Without that clarity we were both frustrated and the partnershp dissolved. Knowing who had what authority allowed us to click and a little synergy actually happened!
I love team!

Spiritual Gifts Test

http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi?intro=1

leading your boss

What is the difference in leading up vs kissing up? If I am doing something for my boss; giving him some information or doing him a favor that I know is going to make him look good and by doing so he will somehow be inclined to treat me especially favorably, that is kissing up.
On the other hand if I can give my boss a resource, or connect him in some way to something that will help him achieve his professional goals - which should be aligned exactly with the goals of the organization - then I have exhibited reliability, servanthood, resourcefulness, which in turn builds trust- which of course translates into influence.
We could simplify it and say that the difference between leading and kissing up is motive- but I think it's more specific and observable than that. I think you can actually see the difference between kissing up and leading up. For instance, we have all seen the "kiss up". He's the guy who laughs at the bosses' jokes that are not really funny. He likes to sit next to the boss. He happens to mention to others in the organization how close he and the boss have become.
The one who is leading up is almost always less obvious. He influences behind the scenes- not in secret- but not needing others to know how he's helping the boss. He only laughs at the jokes if they are funny, and he often tells the boss things he doesn't want to hear, but things he needs to hear.
The amazing thing about leading up is that it truly is servant leadership in its purest form. We have to invert our minds to think of serving those who are beneath us on the org chart- but when leading up it seems obvious to us that we would serve those above us. What we often miss is the considerable influence we can have when we are actually underneath a strong leader.
A strong leader actually knows his own weaknesses and seeks out people who will support him in those specific areas. When he finds one, he will make sure that person stays close and consult him when looking for an honest opinion on a situation. An honest and trustworthy 'second fiddle' is arguably the most valuable resource any leader has. 'Second-fiddle' is often the most influential instrument in an organization.
So if you are in the second (or third chair) and you know you have some influence, how can you be intentional about using your influence to help your leader and the organization you both serve?

Leading up or kissing up?

I'm reading the 360 Degree Leader by John Maxwell. He doesn't particularly inpsire me. There's no question he's an expert - I'm not suggesting he isn't. I always learn something when I read one of his books. I've probably read 6 of his books - Developing the Leaders Around You is probably my favorite.
I'm reading the 360 thing for two reasons. #1 it's required reading for work (so it's free!) and #2 I'm teaching a workshop on Leading Up next month and this book is one of only a few that covers the topic well. But, I think my boss raised a good point when he said that Maxwell gives you too many lists; 6 Challenges, 8 Myths, 5 Principles....it's all too much to absorb. What I always come away with are a few great quotes. He is the quote master.

"Leading up" caught my interest a few years ago when I was on staff at a church. It hit me one day that although God was giving me influence with people all around me, the most challenging was definitely the upward influence on the pastors. Let's face it, to get any ministry of significance started and sustained in a church, you must have the full support and buy in from the pastors. Instinctively I knew it, but it wasn't until I was several years into it that it became clear how much of my time was spent on leading up. Once I saw it, then I became more intentional, and more prayerful about it.

It scares me to become too intentional about leading up - afraid I will cross the line to "kissing up." Afterall, I'm fallen flesh just like everyone else and can certainly be blinded to my own sinful motives at times.
So how do you become intentional about leading up without kissing up?